8:08 Lisa is first to have her final date with the
soon-to-be-not-a-Bachelor. The good folk at Ten have managed to get a hot air
balloon for the pair.
What a glorious shot!
8:10 “We were just floating,” Blake tells those non-ballooners what
it’s like up there over ‘wild Africa’. Lisa says ‘amazing’ various times. To be
fair, neither of them have ever been in a hot-air balloon, so they have
permission to gush.
In all honesty, I am jealous of this date. My boyfriend and I have been
on an AirAsia flight before though, that was pretty much like ‘just floating’
and we got FACE TOWELS!
8:12 Hand-holding, kissing, suspenseful music. OH MY GOD. Something big is going to happen! Will Lisa
finally tell Blake she loves him? Or will she wait until she’s sure he will say
it back?! #TheBachelorAU
8:15 Ad-break over, but the date is not! The two are headed to a fancy
white marquee in the ‘middle of Africa’ for wine, and food that presumably
won’t be touched (AGAIN! Mum, Dee and fruit platter – I’m virtually glaring at
you).
Blake eloquently puts it: “I wanted to organise an out-of-Africa
experience.” I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE POINT OF THAT, BLAKE!
8:19 Blake’s arm is draped around Lisa in this ‘out-of-Africa’
experience. She’s tastefully dressed in lemon, matching Blake’s white-tan
ensemble. Applause to them for co-ordination. Why is the food not being touched
though, guys?
Does anyone else think Lisa resembles Kate Middleton?
8:21 LISA TELLS BLAKE SHE LOVES HIM! SHE’S CRACKED! Covering her blushing
face, Blake tells her how happy that makes him feel (but not reciprocal, never
reciprocal).
“I just wanted to make sure you were in the same spot as I was when I
said it,” she blatantly lies.
Blake morphs back into inaudible-fan voice, and replies with something, but it’s definitely not ‘I
love you, too’.
8:27 Lisa has to shove now, because it’s Sam’s time for a ‘wild Africa’
date. This time it’s a safari in a game reserve, sans hot-air balloon this time
because, you know, Channel 10 doesn’t have that
much money to rent that thing twice!
8:29 I’m throwing the challenge to our non-watchers out there. Can YOU
name the ‘Big 5’ animals of Africa?
8:31 If you got
-
Lion
-
Leopards
-
Buffalo
-
Rhinoceros
-
… elephant?
Congratulations, your score is as good as Team Sam! I thought giraffe
and zebra were on that list, too…
8:33 SELFIE TIME!
8:34 How’s the serenity?
“Thank you for this” says Sam, gesturing to the ‘wild’
8:34 Blake’s talking “brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrb real brbrbrbrb
perfect”. Sam nods and then thanks Blake for ‘Africa’. Seems legit.
8:35 More smooching with the blonde one.
8:38 Once again, the date is not over until one of them (the girl) is
crying with love. Blake’s organised an African choir performance (!!) and Sam
is ecstatic. Who doesn’t love a personal choir?!
8:40 Sam round-about says she loves Blake. “I haven’t felt like this in
a long time, and it’s very refreshing to be in love again,” she admits. What’s
refreshing is polygamy.
8:41 Blake responds. “Wow!”
“I don’t want to share you anymore”
8:42 Sam’s mascara is running, but charmer Blake steps in to help
blondie. Closing her eyes …
OHHHHH HE KISSES HER UNAWARES! HA! Nice move, Blake.
“Do you want to close you ey—“ OHHHH KISS ACTION REPLAY
And the dates with both women have come to a close.
8:45 Blake is shirtless by his ‘wild African’ pool contemplating his
toughie – blonde or brunette?
“I’m feeling so excited to finally express my feelings to the woman I
am in love with, but I also know I must say goodbye to a woman who is very
special to me,” he whinges, sliding into the water.
Strangely, he shows no change in facial expression as he enters the
water – I thought everyone had the scrunched-up face that accompanies difference
in temperate? He ain’t human…
“I’m so ready to start my future with the love of my life!”
Blake on Sam: “She’s someone who could be my best friend AND my partner
for life”
Sam on Blake: “I am in love with Blake and it’s so real and genuine”
Blake on Lisa: “Lisa’s someone I feel in sync with, maybe more than
anyone”
Lisa on Blake: “Blake and I have such an amazing relationship!”
Sam on Lisa: “Who are you?!”
Lisa on Sam: “No, who are YOU?!”
8:51 Shirtless Blake dressing again. More proof he can dress himself,
ladies.
8:53 Aaaaand we’re back in ‘wild Africa’ for the moment everyone
(probably only 1mil of you, really) has been waiting for! Who’s he going to
give that $58,000 Bunda ring to?!! Blake’s dressed himself spiffily in a
blue/grey suit (well-tailored, two ticks of approval). Sans tie though, but
hey, when in Africa (?)
“Everything that’s happened in this journey, it has all come down to
this,” mumbles Blake. I’m glad the producers thoroughly explained the deal of
the game. Monogamy good. Polygamy bad.
8:55 OSHER IS BACK!
“So you have made a decision?” Osher confirms the rules with the
soon-to-be not-Bachelor
8:56 Lisa steps out in a demure dark blue gown, thin straps and
backless – very much living up to her fashion designer tag. Snazzy. But she’s
first, what does this mean for this Noosa girl?
“Lis, what an AMAZING journey we’ve been on together,” Bachelor begins,
but melancholic music is playing … my bachelor sense is tingling.
Side note, when has Bachelor ever referred to her as ‘Lis’? Or is it
‘Leese’?
“Lisa, I have so much love for you … so much love, but I’m in love with
someone else,” Blake is beginning to cry.
I feel like this same situation in real life would NOT go down as
smoothly. Lisa just keeps saying ‘it’s alright’ instead of expletives …
8:58 BUT THIS JUST MEANS … BLAKE IS GOING TO CHOOSE SAM!!!!
8:59 Blake mumbles again. I get ‘man of your dreams’ amongst
brbrbrbrbrbrbr. Lisa gets a peck on the CHEEK and is sent on a flight straight
to BNE. At least they don’t live near each other; they can avoid the awkward
run-in at the local shops, featuring trackpants and a trolley of ice-cream.
“I still believe in love, just not now” – Lisa cries, with no Bachelor
to wipe her mascara away.
9:03 But let’s push those sad emotions out of the way because it’s
Sam’s turn to be charmed by Blake.
*upbeat, optimistic music*
9:04 Sam’s smile is plastered across her face, as glittery sequins
dazzle in the sunset light. She steps out of the car and flashes a grin to
nervous-wreck Blake.
9:05 “I came into this experience looking for someone special. I wanted
to find someone who was ready to challenge me, who was ready to support me,
someone who can inspire me, and Sam I feel like you completely know me.
“I’ve felt a lot of love on this journey, but I’ve only been in love
with one person.
“ … and that person is you, Sam!”
*cue squeals at home*
9:10 THIS HAPPENED!
9:12 “Samantha Frost, will you marry me?”
9:13 “A hundred per cent”
Why hasn’t she said ‘yes’ yet?!!!!
WHO CARES! HE PICKED SAM HE PICKED SAM! Bust out the footy franks and
Tia Maria, followers at home. The Bachelor Australia has come to an end. Let’s
celebrate the love (and the catchy African choir music that’s beginning to
play).
What will the future hold for Blake and Sam?! Strangely, Ten has
enforced a media blackout for Blake, Lisa and Sam over the next few days …
strange indeed.
9:20 Well, that wraps up our live blog of The Bachelor Australia for
2014. We’ll see you ‘round next year! Goodnight!
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