7:25pm Hello and welcome to our live blog of The Bachelor Finale! Over
19 episodes, we’ve been introduced to 24 hopeful women. We’ve seen running
mascara, a tonne of roses (not just red this season, but white too! WHITE!) and
of course, the hashtag storm #dirtystreetpie.
#dirtystreetpie with Laurina
But the producers at Ten cannot
afford to keep funding Blake’s lavish dates, and so tonight he must choose. Who
will it be? Sam or Lisa?!
Join in the conversation with the hashtag #BachelorAU
Let’s recap on our love triangle!
Who are the contestants?
The Bachelor: Blake Garvey, 31, from Perth WA. He’s a real estate
agent. He's been shirtless countless times, but that's only to prove he can re-dress himself without assistance. Swoon.
The Blonde: Sam Frost, 25, from Victoria. She’s in finance. She makes a
few verbal slip-ups, but that’s to be expected when you’re entire relationship
is being filmed and broadcast on television.
The Brunette: Lisa Hyde, 27, from sun-sational Queensland. She’s a
fashion designer, and definitely appreciates a man who can dress himself. Since
19 episodes has given us enough shirtless-Blake-dressing shots, maybe it’s fate? UPDATE: IT WAS NOT FATE
7:30 We return to South Africa where Osher has donned his best ‘African
safari’ gear from Ray’s Outdoors. Apparently tonight we’re meeting Blake’s
mother and Aunt Dee, exploring ‘wild Africa’ oh, and FINDING OUT WHO IS THE
GIRL OF BLAKE’S DREAMS!!! Let’s get cracking!
7:31 ‘Amidst a spec-tac-ular backdrop’ Osher tries his leg at the
Tony-Abbott-cocked-leg.
Through the opening montage of Blake and Sam and Lisa’s journey of
love, we get an insight into the 31-year-old’s mind.
Lisa is first to have a faded montage.
“Lisa’s such a beautiful woman, both inside and out,” Blake coos like
he’s the first to utter the line, then confirming she may be the one (of two)
because they “have such a good time together”.
Definitely a requisite for true
love.
7:32 Anyone else have trouble understanding what Blake says sometimes?
Lisa’s gone off on her own soliloquy, when Blake butts in with something
COMPLETELY indecipherable. But there’s no time for clarification, we’ve got to
flashback to his OTHER love journey with Sam.
7:33 Flashback to Sam on a bucking bull. Remember Blake even wore his
hoedown flanny shirt for that group date. Swoon.
“I think you are … one of the world’s
… best kept .. secrets,” he tells Sam intermittently, perhaps unaware
people aren’t exactly ‘best kept’ when on national television. Still, awwww.
*kiss*
7:34 Shirtless Blake getting dressed to prove he can dress himself,
ladies. THAT’S why Network 10 chose him! He’s looking anxious at the prospect
of having to choose, so there’s a lot of frowning in the mirror happening right
now.
It’s official. The producers show an action shot of Blake on one knee.
One knee can only mean one thing (contrary it could mean numerous things, but
let’s overlook that because …)
THE BACHELOR WILL PROPOSE IN AN HOUR’S
TIME!!!!!!
Who do you want to win? #TheBachelorAU
7:35 Osher, Blake and the bachelorettes keep referring to their
location as just ‘Africa’. HAVE YOU SEEN HOW BIG AFRICA IS?! It’s two Russias.
Two! When Blake elucidates he’s taking the girls ‘the wilds of Africa’ no light is shed on where they are. It reminds me of
that awful Sandler-Barrymore film Blended
that was set in just ‘Africa’.
Condescending lions on rocks and a big lake are shown though, which is
apparently African enough to elucidate their location. Yep.
7:36 “It’s hard … but in the end, I have to trust that my heart will
know who is the one for me.
“And even though I’m excited about that prospect of finding love, I
also know that I’m going to have to say goodbye to someone who is very, very
close to my heart,” he says with a bittersweet mask expression.
If only multiple marriages were socially-acceptable in Perth, Blake. If
only.
*Enter Mum and Aunt Dee*
Blake, Mum and Aunt Dee all share a hug and happy tears after months of
separation. Will the other ladies in Blake’s life get a chance to grill the
girls?! It may be so. Mum’s a ‘softy’ and Dee’s a ‘straight shooter’ according
to the Bachelor, hinting a meet-and-grill is coming up!
On a side note, why has no one touched the (presumably) free food on
the table? Guys, EAT.
7:38 The wise-and-wonderful Gran is back with some wise-and-wonderful
advice for a teary and quivery-lipped Blake. Although there’s no hug exchange
because Gran is still in Australia, she’s more than willing to ‘have a look’
when Blake brings her back home. Cute.
It’s time for Sam and Lisa to meet the other two most important women
in Blake’s life. Aunt Dee chimes in with “It’s time to play good-cop bad-cop”.
Everyone laughs … except Aunt Dee. #drama
7:40 Lisa’s up first! She’s looking sophisticated for a savannah in
‘Africa’ wearing sensible black slacks and an electric blue, sleeveless top.
Snazzy. Blake looks impressed!
7:41 Did Lisa just say Mum looks like a man? “I think you [Blake] are
very similar to your Mum, you can see it in your eyes … I couldn’t tell you two
apart when I walked in *cue laughter* did I walk in with Blake or Andrea?!”
At least the group didn’t find that comment awkward…
Laughs all round
7:42 Round One. Lisa and Mum. “He’s so respectful, and genuine, and I
can see he has a big heart,” Lisa muses.
“I’ve completely fallen for him,” with an ear-to-ear grin.
7:43 “BUT DO YOU LOVE HIM?!” Mum pipes in. Look at that questioning
face.
Fierce ... but not as fierce as Aunt Dee
Lisa is a bit put on the spot. How to respond to his MUM?! Lisa has not
told Blake she loves him yet, but rival Sam has. Perhaps Lisa does not want to
get hurt – what if she’s not the one picked by Blake?! Good call, Lisa. Stay
strong.
7:44 Aaaaand she admitted she loves him, but not to his face yet. Maybe
she’ll keep holding out. SUSPENSE!
7:45 Apparently there’s too much laughter, and not enough grilling for
Aunt Dee, so she’s sashayed over to ‘have her turn’ extracting the nitty-gritty
from Lisa. Such nitty-gritty includes:
-
Where do you see Blake fitting in to your life?
You’re in Brisbane, he’s in Perth.
-
Have you had an argument with him?! (Oh, we’d
know if there was – Ten would promo the shit out of that ‘scandal’)
7:47 Time for Lisa to leave the location in ‘wild Africa’. “I just
can’t wait to show you what I’ve* got planned,” the Bachelor tells Lisa in that
barely-audible tone again. Is the guy constantly standing in front of pedestal
fans?! Brbrbbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr
*And by I, Bachelor really means what the producers have planned out.
7:48 SAM’S GRILL TIME!
“She’s blonde!!” Mum correctly observes.
“Oh, but with a bit of multicolour.” That’s better.
Good spotting, Bachelor Mum. She IS blonde, and that it worthy of a cackle
7:49 Sam fumbles talking to Mum and Aunt Dee, making her an even more
perfect match for the occasionally-inaudible Blake.
7:55 Round Two. Lisa and Mum. “I was quite sceptical before I first met
Blake, because I was like ‘Uhh, what if he’s a douchebag?’” She has a point
though – what if he was a douchebag? Luckily, he’s just turned out to be
kissing 23 other women at the same time as dating you. Chivalrous!
Mum grills Sam with sensible questions including:
-
Do you see yourself settling down? (Read: wants
grandchildren)
-
Will you want him to relocate to you, or you to
relocate to him? (can’t make grandchildren-babies in separate states)
Followed by ‘old troll’ Dee’s questioning:
-
How serious are you? (there will be no
gallivanting around – there will be babies)
-
Are you committed to having a family? (Your
purpose is babies, Sam)
-
Is that in the nearer, rather than farther
future? (You’re practically 50 soon)
8:00 There’s love is in the savannah air tonight. It’s time for Sam to
leave, but not without a smooch and waist-caressing from Blake. With the
family-grilling over, Mum and Aunt Dee still can’t pick which girl they like
more! Looks like Blake will have to make this decision alone.
8:05 We’re almost halfway, folk! Here’s what you’ve had to say on
Twitter!
*for some technical reason, my posts won't update with Twitter grabs... working on this*
No comments:
Post a Comment